Can You Be Friends With Your Ex After A Divorce?
Though being friends may sound like a simple arrangement that is a natural consequence brought about by your past relationship, there are several thoughts that you should ponder on.
Moving On After A Divorce Gets Trickier
If you are friends with your ex, you will have a difficult time moving on with your life post divorce. The reason is simple—you will always be reminded of him because he will always be present. You will always yearn for what you do not have anymore, because he/she will always show you what you have lost. You cannot successfully open yourself up to prospects of a new love and a new life because you will always hope on rekindling your previous romance with your ex. In a nutshell, you will always be in post divorce purgatory because your ex’s presence will tie you on memories of your ex, and your ex alone.
You Will Not Be Missed
Should you choose to be friends with your ex, you will never become a novelty. Your ex will tire of you, and he or she will find themselves not missing you. After all, why should your ex miss you when you are always at his or her beckoning? Reverse this situation and make your ex wonder whether the divorce was worth it. Spend time away from his eyes so that when the both of you cross roads, he will be pleasantly surprised with how you made yourself to be. Allow your ex to miss you by planting seeds of mystery as opposed to being an open book. You may not get back together, but at least you have left a very good (and very memorable) impression.
Your Ex Is Not The Friend You Are Looking For
How awkward is it to whine and talk about your divorce to…uhm, your ex. Not only is it awkward, it is totally inappropriate. Right now, you need your friends to hold your hand, keep your head high and listen to your woes. Your friends should be on your side. This is why you should not be friends with your ex after a divorce. Whether you admit it or not, your ex is on the other side. Your complaints are of him or her because your ex caused your woes. It would be the height of pretentiousness if you held your ex’s hand and wept about him or her. It would only make you look miserable and a tad bit desperate.
What If Your Ex Suggests Being Friends?
You may be thinking that it is more complicated if your ex actually asks that you remain friends. But to be brutally honest, the line “Can we still be friends?” is a go-to line every man would have said to a woman of his past, at least once in his life. More often than not, there is nothing to it, and he expects you not to take this line seriously. If you are feeling that you should at least reply, do so directly and without any fuss. Just say that after all that you have gone through with the divorce, you feel that it is best to give time off for wounds to heal so being friends is not a good idea at the moment.